; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i need an iv and a liver transplant
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
they need to just BURY HIM!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
