The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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