Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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