first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
