Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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