it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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