Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
