i think i scared a bird with my dick
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
