I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
