i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
