Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
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The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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