So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
