After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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