Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
