wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
