DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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