i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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