All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
