I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
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i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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