Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
