I'm drive I can fine osifer
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
