TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.â€
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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