I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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