What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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