Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
