Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
