I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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