So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
