I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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