I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
