If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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