have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
