I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
