Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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