shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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