So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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