non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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