I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
