You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
