another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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