I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
