Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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