I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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