I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
