end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize