i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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