I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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