You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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