dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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