Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
