so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
