if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
