Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
