so explain again why im purple
no
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
