Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.

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(805): View more from California

There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it

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(217): View more from Illinois

I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(216): View more from Ohio

We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"

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(817): View more from Texas

I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.

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(607): View more from New York

No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.

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(847): View more from Illinois

How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?

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