This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.