marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?