Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.