is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
