got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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